Greetings my fellow Americans and other distinguished Foreigners!
Well, I celebrated my first 4th of July in simply smashing style hosting a BBQ/pool party/diaper scavenger hunt over at my pad this week. On the ultra-exclusive guest list: Mommy, Daddy (he just made the cut this year), Uncle Paddy, Cher (No, not that one) and Cousin/Uncle/Great-great-great-greatgrandfather (great as in supercoolawesometotallytothemaxradlikeadiapergenie, and not super dupertotallysmellslikecabbageandfartsdustbecasehe'solderthanspaceandtimeitself mind you) Jim. So, yes, it was an small and intimate gathering, but what do you expect---I'm only two months old--I don't know a whole lot of people and my parents won't even buy me a cell phone...I mean, they limit my internet surfing to an hour a day! Philistines! I've got a blog to write! Ah, crumpets! Anyway, it was pretty low key...pasta salad, salmon, chicken, burgers, and hot dogs...all enjoyed vicariously through you-know-who! Yup, Mother's Milk. Grade A quality, never pasteurized, or homogenized...strictly farm-fed, cage-free, and organic for me. Tell you the truth though, I couldn't believe she downed an Italian Sausage without any toppings. Not very German of her to say the least. Anywho, an hour and a half later I stopped in mid-meal, opened one eye and peered up at her, and quite blatantly asked "Can a girl get some mustard on this dog, or what, yo?" Now, mind you, I knew it would take her FTX (that's Food Train eXpress to you and me) another hour or so to break down the mustard molecules and transform them into cultured condiments, but better late than never, right? Well, I have a stinkin' suspicion that there's still a language barrier between her and I, because she just looked down at me and said, "Isn't that cute, she's uttering nonsensical sounds, trying to formulate words, which will someday become sentences in which we will soon be able to bridge the language barrier between us...Awwwww. Such a cutie." Me: "So, I take it I'm not getting any mustard?" Mommy: "You are a cutie...yes you are...yes you are..." Mommy precedes to give me an Eskimo kiss and nuzzle me. Me: "Ketchup? Anyone? Hello? Is this thing on? Microphone check...one two...one two...?" Next year, my friends, next year I'll bring my own bottle of mustard. At least I got some Key Lime Pie out of the deal. My new FAV-O-RITE! Other than that though, seems everyone was too entranced with Daddy's Father's Day gift...Wii! No, not Weeeeeeeee. This is the new nintendo system, that apparently I'm not old enough to partake in. Philistines! I mean, the gameplay is so simple with the new remote sensors...you just flick your wrist and wiggle your body and you're playing the game...sheesh even a baby could do it. Yeah, I'm talking about lil' ol' me here. But noooooo, they were too busy playing tennis and boxing and bowling to even notice me...I mean, I had to play Jenga with my diapers just to entertain myself. You better believe that when my parents fall asleep I'm sneaking down the stairs, powering that gamebox up and downing dry formula like it was Pixie Stix! As soon as I can crawl ,that it. Oh yes, believe it...I'm wild and a bit K-razy like that. I mean, look who my parents are? Can you blame me? Johnny Cash may Walk the Line, but boy, I'm gonna Crawl the Line. Watch out, Partners!
Oh, and check out my patriotic dress! Those colors don't run...hmmm, that's weird, I could've sworn something was running down my leg..."Daddy, diaper me!"
Hope your Fourth was safe & sane. Word on the street is that we'll be at the Newman Lake cabin next year. Shady Shanty here I come...I can't wait to use the outhouse with Mommy! Hope to see y'all there. Word on my street is, I'll be competing in the baby corn eating contest with BBFF's Conner and Haley Jaye (btw...Luv the name, grrlfriend). May the baby with the most teeth win! Oh, and Grandpa Ed and Uncle Chris already promised to take me on my first snipe hunt! Yippeee! All be practicing my Snipe calls all year!
TTYL--
Silly Dot!
Well, I celebrated my first 4th of July in simply smashing style hosting a BBQ/pool party/diaper scavenger hunt over at my pad this week. On the ultra-exclusive guest list: Mommy, Daddy (he just made the cut this year), Uncle Paddy, Cher (No, not that one) and Cousin/Uncle/Great-great-great-greatgrandfather (great as in supercoolawesometotallytothemaxradlikeadiapergenie, and not super dupertotallysmellslikecabbageandfartsdustbecasehe'solderthanspaceandtimeitself mind you) Jim. So, yes, it was an small and intimate gathering, but what do you expect---I'm only two months old--I don't know a whole lot of people and my parents won't even buy me a cell phone...I mean, they limit my internet surfing to an hour a day! Philistines! I've got a blog to write! Ah, crumpets! Anyway, it was pretty low key...pasta salad, salmon, chicken, burgers, and hot dogs...all enjoyed vicariously through you-know-who! Yup, Mother's Milk. Grade A quality, never pasteurized, or homogenized...strictly farm-fed, cage-free, and organic for me. Tell you the truth though, I couldn't believe she downed an Italian Sausage without any toppings. Not very German of her to say the least. Anywho, an hour and a half later I stopped in mid-meal, opened one eye and peered up at her, and quite blatantly asked "Can a girl get some mustard on this dog, or what, yo?" Now, mind you, I knew it would take her FTX (that's Food Train eXpress to you and me) another hour or so to break down the mustard molecules and transform them into cultured condiments, but better late than never, right? Well, I have a stinkin' suspicion that there's still a language barrier between her and I, because she just looked down at me and said, "Isn't that cute, she's uttering nonsensical sounds, trying to formulate words, which will someday become sentences in which we will soon be able to bridge the language barrier between us...Awwwww. Such a cutie." Me: "So, I take it I'm not getting any mustard?" Mommy: "You are a cutie...yes you are...yes you are..." Mommy precedes to give me an Eskimo kiss and nuzzle me. Me: "Ketchup? Anyone? Hello? Is this thing on? Microphone check...one two...one two...?" Next year, my friends, next year I'll bring my own bottle of mustard. At least I got some Key Lime Pie out of the deal. My new FAV-O-RITE! Other than that though, seems everyone was too entranced with Daddy's Father's Day gift...Wii! No, not Weeeeeeeee. This is the new nintendo system, that apparently I'm not old enough to partake in. Philistines! I mean, the gameplay is so simple with the new remote sensors...you just flick your wrist and wiggle your body and you're playing the game...sheesh even a baby could do it. Yeah, I'm talking about lil' ol' me here. But noooooo, they were too busy playing tennis and boxing and bowling to even notice me...I mean, I had to play Jenga with my diapers just to entertain myself. You better believe that when my parents fall asleep I'm sneaking down the stairs, powering that gamebox up and downing dry formula like it was Pixie Stix! As soon as I can crawl ,that it. Oh yes, believe it...I'm wild and a bit K-razy like that. I mean, look who my parents are? Can you blame me? Johnny Cash may Walk the Line, but boy, I'm gonna Crawl the Line. Watch out, Partners!
Oh, and check out my patriotic dress! Those colors don't run...hmmm, that's weird, I could've sworn something was running down my leg..."Daddy, diaper me!"
Hope your Fourth was safe & sane. Word on the street is that we'll be at the Newman Lake cabin next year. Shady Shanty here I come...I can't wait to use the outhouse with Mommy! Hope to see y'all there. Word on my street is, I'll be competing in the baby corn eating contest with BBFF's Conner and Haley Jaye (btw...Luv the name, grrlfriend). May the baby with the most teeth win! Oh, and Grandpa Ed and Uncle Chris already promised to take me on my first snipe hunt! Yippeee! All be practicing my Snipe calls all year!
TTYL--
Silly Dot!
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1 comment:
Will you stop growing up so fast, little one? Look how big you're getting!!! We look forward to meeting you...especially Grace. Much love to you and your parents!
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